Q: Is your web site secure?
A: Yes we use SSL to secure all ordering transactions. In addition, we never store (or evne see) your credit card info. This approach to eCommerce requires that we pass your credit card info thru to the processing back end, but our website logic does not store the data.

Q: I didn't have a choice for a faster shipping option, but wondered if it's possible to ship sooner?
A: No

Q: I wrote a book recently, for which I'd like to have available bumperstickers. Can you go to [my] site and tell me if you can copy the book colors?
A: No

Q: I would like a blank sticker the same color as my wife's car about the size of a big scrape, do you do custom colors?
A: No -- and we wouldn't want to be you.

Q: Do you sell a bumper sticker that reads, "Insert Stupid Saying Here"? I would like to buy one. How much would it cost to have one made?
A: You can create any sticker you want by clicking here. All custom stickers cost the same as our catalog selection.

Q: Can you do custom fonts?
A: No, other than what's available on the site.

Q: I am starting a new home based business and will be offering bumper stickers of a pending trademarked 5 word saying. I need to ask a few questions, including 1) What is the process of having you make custom bumper stickers ( choice in size, mulit colors to use on one sticker, font choices and cost)  2) Do you send samples? 
A: Why on earth would we tell you how to compete with us? We dumped hundreds of thousands into this site, and until some fool buys us out we ain't tellin' nobody nothin'. That is, other than what we think of them...

Q: I would like to have a bumper sticker with a picture of my dog's ass and have it say "I Don't Scoop". How much would this cost?
A: Sorry we don't do stickers with images, only words. Maybe we will add this in the future because uploading pictures of dog's asses is a popular request -- you sicko.

Q: I have a great idea for a bumper sticker, what will you pay me for it?
A: Nothing.

Q: For people who have a copyright on a slogan for a bumper sticker, what business arrangement do you offer for marketing the stickers on your web site?
A: None.

Q: Hi, I love your many bumper stickers and I have ideas for some quotes of my own that people have told me would great bumper stickers and t-shirt art. My question is how do I go about selling such ideas? I do not have the time or need to create my own bumper sticker/T-shirt business but would naturally like to earn a bit of money for my ideas. I hope you can steer me in the right direction as I see you have so many available through your site.
A: The best way to sell your own bumper stickers (and T-Shirts) is CafePress.com. They allow you to create stickers while they handle the online sales and printing.

Q: How do I create a custom sticker on your site?
A: Click on the big icon on the front page that says "Click Now" and "Create A Custom Bumper Sticker", or click here . We made it very large so that even idiots wouldn't miss it -- looks like it will have to make it larger.

Q: Do you take checks?
A: No. The advantage of credit card transactions is that they are processed by computers, our computer talks to the VISA computer to make the transaction -- when you make an order with a credit card everything is fully automated. On the other hand, checks require hand processing and we are unwilling to do that. Amazon.com has most of the stickers that we have and they take checks. Search using our SKU#s or the text of the sticker.

Q: I don't have a credit card, where can I buy stickers?
A: See answer to question above.

Q: I don't like giving my credit card # out over the Internet, can I call you?
A: No, our business model prevents us from taking orders over the phone. However, Amazon.com has all the stickers that we have and they take orders over the phone, do a search using our SKU#s or the text of the sticker.

Q: What type of adhesive do you use for your bumper stickers?
A: Molecular Structure:

Q: The molecular structure isn't very helpful, what I want to know is if I stick it to the paint of my car will I be able to remove it?
A: Our crack team of lawyers has advised that we can't answer this question. Basically we would have to make some assumptions about your car, paint quality, paint age, your chemistry knowledge, hand-eye coordination, patience level, bumper height from the ground, weather patterns, amount of time that the sticker has been on the car, outside temperature, relative humidity, your propensity to sue, etc...

Q: I put one of them on a new car with a fiberglass bumper. What is the best way to remove the bumper sticker without causing any damage?
A: You can find good articles about removing bumper stickers on the Internet, however, again, our lawyers will not let us provides links, since that would be endorsing the technique.

Q: I just got my bumper stickers. They are very nice, but don't look too sturdy. What are they printed on?
A: They are made out of high quality Starliner Premier Polypro water proof paper, that uses waterproof adhesive. The printing is NOT ink, it is fine ground melted plastic that is melted into the sticker paper using a precison laser -- creating a long lasting high quality product.

Q: Will your bumper stickers hold up to bad weather for years? Will the color fade overtime?
A: Short answer: No, and Yes. We do our very best to make a high quality product; how long they will last depends on many factors, like what part of the country you live in, average humidity, how hot it gets every year, for how long? How cold it gets every year, for how long? Driving conditions, do you garage the car every night, do you park it facing the noon sun, how often do you wash the car, car wash or by hand? do you wax the car, do you wax the sticker? Are you one of those people that are naturally unlucky? There are just too many factors to answer this type of question.

Q: Will bumper stickers stick to a window? I don't want to put it on my bumper, I just want to put it on my back windshield. Would it stick?
A: Yes, it is recommended that you clean your window first with hot water and a mild detergant, then pat dry with a lint free cloth, make sure to apply it to the outside, unless you want to read it from the inside and press down gently working from the inside out.

Q: Will the bumper sticker stick to my ass, I don't want to put it on my bumper, I just want to put in on my ass? How long will it last there? Will it pull my ass hairs when I remove it?
A: Yes it will stick to your ass, however it is recommend that you shave your ass first. Please send a picture.

Q: Can I call you?
A: We don't know, can you?

Q: Ok, do you have a phone number so that I can call you?
A: No

Q: My order never arrived where is it?
A: Mostly likely it is in your paper recycle. Our stickers arrive in a plain white envelope, with a computer generated address label and our return address in the upper left corner. Some customers mistake them as junk mail and throw them out. Please check your recycle. Of course you can email us if the recycle is too full of beer cans to safely look in it.

Q: Ok, I checked my recycle and my stickers aren't there?
A: Mysteriously, about 1 in 1000 orders gets lost. Typically we blame the US Postal Service instead of insinuating that you didn't look in your recycle very carefully. However, because of lack of proof we just don't know for sure.

Please contact us at: customerservice@bumperart.com  if you believe this has happened to you. Make sure that a full 10 days has elapsed since you received your shipment notification email; and please include your order number in the email.

Q: Do you sell wholesale?
A: We do offer discounts starting at 250 of a given sticker, and up. Email us if you want a quote. 

Q: I want to order a gagazillion stickers can I have a discount?
A: No, you need to contact a offset or silk-screen printer that can print enormous numbers of bumper stickers using traditional print technology (we are 100% digital).

Q: Why do you have an anti-<my favorite thing> section?
A: To piss you off.

We sell different size stickers so that people can choose how big they want their messages. For examples, some people might want a small "Mow Your Lawn" sticker, so their neighbors can't read it from across the street. In other words there is no one perfect size sticker for everyone.

Q: Your stickers are obviously right/left wing. I'll never look at your site again.
A: The trouble with you <left-wing commies/right-wing whackos> is that you don't know how to read. We are in fact just arms dealers. Once you have calmed down enough that drool no longer covers your keyboard, please look at the content more carefully. You'll notice that we have something to offend everyone.